Part 5: Revelation

“Boring… so bored…” Four thought to herself.

She shifted and pulled her legs to her chest. Given her thin frame, Four had discovered she could easily pull Ami’s baggy t-shirts over her legs for warmth. It was a simple comfort , but one that brought a smile to her face. She needed it since the reporter had gone back to work earlier that morning. Even though Four found herself alone yet again, at least this time it didn’t bother her as much. After all, she knew it was only temporary.

As the chimera looked around the inviting atmosphere of the living room she felt safe, a stark contrast to her time in her laboratory cell. Still, she couldn’t help but be bored. Four needed to find something to fill her time and with a resigned sigh she freed her legs from their t-shirt cocoon and rose from the couch.

“Maybe I should just watch something until Amina gets home,” Four thought as she shuffled over to a bookshelf lined with books and DVDs.

Occupying herself with mindless television wasn’t something she was unfamiliar with. Between the poking and prodding, the scientists would often put on movies to occupy her while they worked. The fictional worlds had offered her a little escape, the characters acting as a group of surrogate friends. She would often imagine herself as the main character of those stories, preferring to live a life other than her own.

She thumbed through the row of DVDs hoping one would spark her interest, but let out a disappointed sigh when nothing immediately caught her attention. With a grumble, she moved on to Amina’s selection of books and she almost immediately found equal disappointment. The reporter’s library seemed to exclusively consist of either crime novels, fictional romance, or a combination of the two. Four was disinterested in anything involving crime at this point so with a reluctant shrug she opened one of the romance novels. After she flipped through some of the pages, she stopped on a random one to see if the narrative would grasp her imagination. As her eyes moved along the text, a flush spread across her cheeks. She quickly closed the book, put it back on the shelf, and cautiously stepped away. The reporter’s romance novels had proven to be far more descriptive than she anticipated. With a defeated groan Four collapsed back onto the couch, her gangly avian legs flailing as she landed on the soft cushions.

“I survived… mutilation… just to die… from boredom. Just my luck,” Four muttered aloud, a mix of dark humor and frustration. “I wonder… if there’s something on… tv.”

With an overly dramatic groan, the chimera turned and reached for the tiny TV remote on the coffee table. With concentrated effort, she fumbled with it a bit in her reptilian hands, trying to hold it in a position that felt comfortable. Between the occasional numbness of her digits and the inhuman arrangement of bones beneath the skin, it wasn’t an easy task. She finally decided to grasp it with one hand and operate the buttons with the other. Not exactly ideal, but at least it worked.

”There has to be… something,” Four thought as her expression shifted to one of utter determination. She began to navigate channels and menus, vastly more options than the laboratory ever had. The chimera went from channel to channel, streaming service to streaming service, looking for anything to spark her interest. Unfortunately, the amount of options changed from a veritable drought to an overwhelming abundance. Where she had been crippled by utter disinterest before she now found herself crippled by seemingly unending possibilities.

Four continued to stare, unblinking at the screen, until she was jolted from her search by a knock on the front door. Amina wasn’t supposed to be home for hours, so whoever this was, it wasn’t her. Four hastily turned off the television as anxiety tightly gripped her. Her heart raced and she couldn’t help but immediately go to the most dire scenario.

Somehow… somehow more Collective scientists had found her. They had come to take her away.

Panic set in and she began to tremble. She knew what was coming. They would take her back, lock her in a cage, and she’d never see Amina again. Without a second thought, Four ran to a corner and cowered. Perhaps, she began to reason with herself, if she didn’t make a sound… perhaps if she held her breath… they would leave. Or maybe, just maybe, the knock had been her imagination.

That latter was disproven almost as soon as it crossed her mind as a second more urgent knock on the door filled her ears.

”No… no…,” Four whispered, her vision blurred from unshed tears. “I… don’t want… to go back…”

Another series of quick knocks solidified that, whoever it was, they weren't leaving. Four braced herself for the future she was so sure was coming. She knew this was it and that her short lived freedom had come to an end. Just when the chimera began to sob into her hands, a familiar voice snapped her back to reality.

“Hey! Four! I know you hear me! Open the damn door!” Erving said as he impatiently knocked on the door again. “Seriously! I have to take a piss!”

Four scrambled to her feet and rushed to the door. “Erving?!” she said, indignantly as she looked through the peephole, “What are you… doing here?! Why didn’t you say it was you… to begin with?!”

Erving, looked directly at the peephole and replied, “Were you expecting someone else?”

Four fervently wiped her eyes and opened the door, standing behind it to block anyone’s view of her.

“About damn time… geez.” Erving barked as he practically ran in, rushing past the couch and dropping a large computer bag as he went. He made a direct route straight to the bathroom, closing the door loudly behind him.

“I wasn’t… expecting anyone!” Four retorted. “That’s why… I didn’t answer!”

The chimera crossed her arms angrily in the hallway. She could hear Erving responding from the bathroom, even though she wasn’t quite sure what he was saying.

“What a jerk,” she thought to herself. “He could’ve said something instead of just beating on the door...”

After a moment, Erving finally opened the door, his frustrated grimace replaced by a look of relief.

“Wash… your hands! Nasty!” Four said angrily as Erving stepped out..

Erving's usual sour expression spread across his face again. “I washed ‘em!” he retorted. “They’re still freakin’ wet!”

“No… you didn’t!” Four said as she stomped over with an accusing tone. “I didn’t hear… any water!”

Erving rolled his eyes and then stepped back in to wash his hands while staring her down, “Fine. I’m telling you I did, but I’ll wash ‘em again if it makes you feel better. I thought we were cool now. You don’t have to be such an asshole.”

“Me?! I’m the asshole?!” Four shrieks, angrily, her hand on her chest. “You showed up… out of nowhere… and scared me… almost to death!”

Erving looked at her confused for a moment, but then his usual unenthusiastic expression returned, realization finally dawning on him. “Let me guess,” he replied flatly. “You didn’t check your phone.”

The chimera watched as Erving stepped into the living room, his eyes darting around before finally settling on her phone casually discarded on a counter. Four recoiled, annoyed, as he picked it up and waved it in her face.

“I got these burners so we could keep in touch! You actually have to pay attention to yours! It could have been an emergency! This thing isn’t even charged!” Erving scolded. He grabbed the nearby cord, still plugged into the wall, and put the phone back on the counter.

“The cord was literally five inches away!” he said with a scowl. “Are you kidding me? If you’d charged the damn thing you wouldn’t have been surprised!”

Four listened, a little embarrassed, as Erving pulled out his own phone and began to dramatically read in a loud condescending tone. “Hey F,” he said with a glare, “A asked me to come check on you. I’ll be over in five minutes. -E.” Erving then turned his phone to Four. “See! I texted first!”

“Oh… my… my mistake,” Four admitted. “I was… distracted. I didn’t know… the phone died…”

Erving let out a long sigh, “Well, don’t let it happen again, alright? What if you needed to get in touch with us? I don’t think Ami even has a landline. Honestly, I don’t know anyone younger than 50 who does. I bet you don't even remember her number.”

He then walked past Four to grab his bag. She watched as he settled into a recliner, pulled out his laptop, and began to hastily tap away on the keyboard.

“Since your phone is dead, I’ll hang out a bit,” Erving said gruffly. “If Amina can’t get in contact with you she’s just gonna send me over here again so I'll save myself a trip.”

Four couldn’t help but smile a little. She didn’t care for Erving’s tone, but at least having to deal with him was better than the alternative she had cooked up in her mind. She slowly made her way over to her usual spot on the couch and fiddled with the hem of her shirt before finally deciding to speak.

“I… shouldn’t have… been an asshole,” she said with a slight grin still present on her face. “I’m sorry.”

Erving’s shoulders dropped a little as he paused from whatever he was working on. Without even so much as glancing up, he replied, “Yea, well… sorry I scared you.”

“What are… you working on?” Four asked, happy to finally have something to distract her from her boredom.

“I’m trying to break into those stupid Collective files from the lab computer,” he replied, not taking his eyes away from the screen. “It’s a lot harder than anything else I’ve ever tried to crack. I've barely gotten anywhere.”

He leaned his head to the side and winced as his neck popped. “It’s a literal pain in my neck. I’m not the expert hacker that Ami seems to think I am, and I can’t exactly ask for anyone else’s help since I wouldn’t trust internet randos with this sort of info.”

Four nodded as she looked away, feigning a little disinterest, “That… makes sense.” Then, with a little apprehension, she asked, “Have you… learned anything… about who I… was?”

A soft exhale escaped Erving’s lips as he took off his baseball cap and scratched his messy black hair. “Not really,” he replied. “I… uh… I have learned a couple other things about your time at the lab that you might not have known. When Ami gets home I’ll fill you both in.”

“Other things?” Four said, taken by slight surprise. “Tell me. I want… to know now.”

“Uh uh, no way. I don’t think that’s a good idea, Four. It’s a lot to take in by yourself,” he replied, closing his laptop.

“You think… I can’t handle it… by myself?!” Four retorted, as her volume began to involuntarily rise. The audacity of the closing laptop causing her blood to boil. “Look at me…! I’ve handled worse… all by myself!”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Erving replied, apologetically, but the chimera remained unconvinced.

Whatever his reasons, Four couldn’t help but be insulted. This man she barely knew was keeping secrets from her that she needed to know, and she wasn't having it. She knew her anger was written all over her face, but she didn't care.

“You come in… in here…” Four said in a low, almost growling tone, “...and yell at me… about that stupid phone… like I’m a child. And now… you act like… like I can’t handle… whatever this is? I’ve been through… more than you could even imagine! More than… what my body… even shows! Don’t treat me… like I'm a child!”

Erving crossed his arms in his seat, sucking a little air between his teeth. “Tch, you really need to cool it with your attitude. Do you give Ami this much shit or do you just save it all for me?”

Four leaned over the arm of the couch as she stared him down. Her voice oozed from her mouth, seeped in venom, “She rescued me. You wouldn’t even… be helping… if she hadn’t told you… everything. Anyway, you just… do stupid computer things. It’s… not the same.”

“Ouch,” Erving quipped with his usual indifference. “Awful rude seeing as my ‘stupid computer things’ might actually turn out to be super important. I could just pass this off and walk away, you know? I’ll be real, I’d love that.”

Four slowly leaned back into the couch cushions with a scowl, her cold glare never leaving him. Erving’s tone just kept wearing her patience even thinner. She began to imagine herself lifting him from his chair by his collar and tossing him across the room. It took all of her composure and the desire to not break anything in Amina’s home to not act on that very intrusive thought.

“Why don’t you?” she finally asked in a huff. “Why are you… helping anyway…? What’s… in it for you?”

“Maybe I’m just a really nice guy,” Erving replied in a joking tone. “Have you ever thought about that?”

Four’s mouth drew into a tighter scowl. The chimera disliked this new tone far more than his apathetic one. “I really… doubt that,” Four said with snark and disdain as she turned away. “Ami should've… never brought you here.”

“Will you stop getting so pissy with me?” Erving said with a sigh. “If you really want to know, and it’ll tone down all of… this... then fine. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Four perked up with interest and turned back, her mind racing with possibilities. With a regretful sigh Erving moved his laptop and leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees.

“Look," he said with some hesitancy in his voice. "All I got into were some files with basic research proposals and a couple security logs. Research proposals are normally boring bureaucratic crap… to get funding. I guess there are some things that stay the same when you’re doing any sort of science, legal or illegal… you still gotta convince rich people and their companies to give you cash.”

Four’s expression shifted from interest to indifference as he spoke.

“That’s all? I don’t care… about that," she groaned. "Amina thinks she knows… where the money came from. Some… medicine company.”

“I know, but that’s not what I’m talking about,” Erving replied. “This isn’t just about where they got the money. A research proposal is how they justified being funded. It’s… it’s them explaining why they did what they did.”

“Why… they…” Four whispered. “You mean… why they… why they made me… like this?”

Erving nodded solemnly, “Yea. It explained all of it. Why they experimented on you… and on the people that didn’t survive.”

The chimera raised her hand to stop Erving before he could continue. Her heart was suddenly at war with her mind. She needed to know why she had been pulled apart and put back together, but even so, she understood now why he’d been reluctant to tell her alone. She’d assumed she was strong enough to handle her truth, but maybe she was fooling herself. Four had resolved herself to try harder to be strong, but now she could already feel that resolve waning. The fear that constantly clawed at her mind, the fear that sends her cowering, was returning again.

“Maybe…” Four whispered as she stroked her own scaly arm. “Maybe you… were right. Maybe… I’m not strong enough… for this. I thought… I could be...”

Four’s voice trailed off, not wanting to admit that she was too afraid of her own tragic origin. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Erving staring at her, worried. There was genuine concern in his eyes, but still, it filled her with shame.

“Is this all I’ll ever be?” she thought to herself. “Just someone that other people pity?”

She bit her lip and closed her eyes for a moment to compose herself. “No. I… need to know,” she said, her voice waivering a bit. “I want to know… and I… I want to be the one… to tell Amina. It’s… my story… my story to tell. It’s… my truth.”

Four watched as Erving got up and walked over to sit with her on the couch. “I get it,” he replied. “I should’ve asked what you wanted instead of just assuming.”

“It’s… ok,” Four responded with a slight grin. “You thought you were doing… what was best… for me.” She then turned to look him in the eye, “But… I need to feel some… some sort of control in this. I don't want to be… just someone other people have to protect.”

Four grasped at the hem of her shirt and balled her fists, “All my life… I have been… a victim. I didn’t… have a choice… but… now I do. I want to know why… why they did this. I know it will hurt… because… because there’s no good reason. There’s no reason that would ever... make it right. But… I still need… answers.”

Erving and Four sat in the silence following her declaration. The chimera forced herself to breathe slowly, to find a calm in herself, and closed her dark eyes to prepared for the pain she herself had asked to receive. When she opened her eyes again, she looked over and to see Erving staring into the middle distance. Although the pain of recounting her past to her would never be the same as living it, Four could empathize. She even took a little joy from knowing that he really did care.

“It’s hard… to give bad news…” Four said calmly to catch his attention. “But I asked for it… so please… as my friend. Please tell me.”

Erving nervously picked at his scraggly stubble, but then continued.

"It was… sort of… science for science’s sake, you know?” he said, not looking at her. “They were just trying to see how far they could push boundaries. Just see what they could do to alter a human body before it was too much. They didn’t get into how they chose the candidates, just how. They chose people that… wouldn’t be missed. The first one was just used to nail down some procedures. That guy… didn’t even survive a couple hours. The second and third tests, they chose specific candidates. People who were already on a registry to receive organ transplants.”

He fell silent and began to pick at his face again. Four couldn’t tell if he was collecting his thoughts or battling with the need to feel ill. His expression could have been read either way. She fidgeted with her shirt as the need to know more continued to grow, but she also didn’t want to push him. Even if she had been mad at him before, and to that moment still had her reservations, all of that was gone now. Four leaned in and gave him a reassuring nod, not as a to push him to continue, just as a kind gesture. She wanted to show she would wait until he was ready. Until they both were. He took a few deep breaths before he spoke again.

“They… used the second and third test subjects to figure out how to graft whole limbs successfully,” he said. “The video Ami watched said they figured out they would need to modify any limbs from other animals before attaching them. That’s not even half of it, though.”

Erving motioned to Four’s legs, “One of the files said they had attached other legs to you, but you kept breaking them… so they finally used those, reinforced with metal pins.”

Four sat up in shock, revealing her legs from beneath her shirt. “They… operated on my legs… more than once?” she asked, concern apparent in her voice. As she rubbed the skin, she felt what she assumed must be the pins he was talking about. “I… I don’t... remember any of that.”

“I wouldn’t think so. I mean, it seems like… the other stuff they did at the end made you block a lot of things out,” Erving replied. “You were… kind of like their last ditch effort. The project was on the verge of being shut down. Some other lab has some breakthrough that made the Jersey lab sort of obsolete. The files didn’t say much about the other place… but it was clear whoever was writing the proposals was worried.”

He then motioned to his laptop and Four reached over to the recliner to grab it. She watched as Erving opened it and moved the mouse over several files before opening the one he had been talking about.

“This thing spells it all out,” he said as he scrolled through the text. “They basically threw the whole kitchen sink at you. You were chosen because you were young and had a higher chance of healing from surgery. You also have an autoimmune disease… so your immune system didn’t attack the new parts as much. They even toyed around with some new chemical from the pharmaceutical company that was supposed to aid in the tissue binding process. Truthfully, whatever that chemical was is probably the main reason you survived… at least from what I’ve read.”

Four leaned in, slowly reading the text on the screen. Her name had been redacted, but there was enough there to lay out exactly what had been done to her.

“Skin grafts… limb replacement… skeletal reinforcement,” she read aloud. “We introduced modified catalyst… the final stage is...” she stopped mid sentence and sat up.

“...behavior modification…?” she whispered.

“Yea. That was the last thing they submitted for approval before the lab burned down,” Erving replied as he closed the file and moved on to the next page.

Four covered her mouth as Erving read the new file out loud. She could barely even breathe.

“Subject Four will undergo behavioral modification and programming. A suggestion will be inserted into her subconscious for manual override of her higher level cognitive functions,” he said gravely as he read the words of some callous doctor. “As this process is completely untested, mental degradation is possible, and even complete psychosis is a possibility. However, if her sanity survives the process, it will justify the need to maintain the laboratory and staff…”

Erving shook his head, “...it just… goes on for a bit more about how the laboratory is important and shouldn't be blacklisted. I'm not super sure what that part means, but I'm guessing it's what led to it being destroyed.”

He then closed the laptop with a sigh, “I think that’s why you can't remember things. You didn't just forget. Whatever they did, it messed with your long term memory… it…”

Before he could finish his thought, Four finished it for him, her voice low and monotone.

“It's why… I killed those people… someone made me do it…”

“I think so,” Erving replied, looking down at the floor. “I think the scientists were hoping this last experiment would keep the lab going because getting shut down meant the Collective would clear house. Whoever they were trying to impress… I guess they weren't. I think that person used you to do their dirty work and then started the fire to cover it up. The log for lab security had an entry for an emergency hatch. I'm just guessing at this point, but I'm thinking one of the scientists must’ve tripped it. It trapped them with you, but it also kept the basement from burning. While you were still out of it you must have climbed out of some ventilation or something when you couldn't get through the hatch.”

All of his revelations made the chimera feel numb all over. The scientists hadn't just taken her life from her. While in her mindless state, she'd returned the favor in the most literal of ways. Her eyes shifted to the closed laptop. If just those couple of files unraveled that much, she thought, what else was in there? What else could it tell her?

Did she even want to know?

“Hey, uh,” Erving said, nervously, snapping her from her thoughts, “it’s not all bad news…”

Four turned, tears pooling in her dark eyes, “Not all… bad news?! Are you kidding?! I have something… something in my brain… that lets people… control me! When they put it in… it broke something… made me… made me forget. How could there be… any good news?”

“Well, that means that you didn't actually kill anyone, right?” Erving replied, trying his best to sound optimistic. “Your body did, but someone else was at the wheel. It wasn't you.”

Four looked at her friend as she contemplated his suggestion, but then shook her head in rejection. “I know you're just… trying to make me… feel better,” she said, closing her eyes and letting her tears flow. She wiped her eyes with her sleeve and looked back with a small smile, “...but thank you… for trying…”

Four continued to wipe her eyes, hoping that eventually the tears would stop. Erving cautiously reached up to rub her back, to just provide a little comfort, not realizing his error in judgment. Even that light friendly touch caused Four’s whole body to tense. He let out a yelp of surprise as he pulled his hand back, a few small barbs stuck in his palm.

“Oh, right… I even read about these too…” he said, annoyed, as he pulled on one. “My bad. I'm an idiot.”

“Stop,” Four muttered, a little amused as she took his hand. “Let me see.”

Four gently angled the barb as he winced. “Don't be a baby… they didn’t go deep,” she said, still amused as she carefully pulled it out. “They have hooks… on the ends. Just pulling them… will make things worse. I would know… I sometimes… stab myself… when I scratch my back...”

“Heh… good to know,” Erving said as he watched her remove the rest. “Uh... are you gonna be ok?”

Four looked for a moment at a barb before tossing it onto the coffee table in front of her. “No… ugh… I dunno… maybe one day… but not right now.” She then grabbed the remote and pulled her legs under her oversized shirt again. “Wanna watch… a movie… with me?”

“I guess so,” Erving replied with a shrug, “I think I could use a break from my “computer stuff”.”

The chimera chuckled softly as she tossed the remote in his lap. “Good… then you choose something.”

As Erving leaned forward, squinting and scrolling through all the options, Four felt a little more at ease. Everyday, she was learning more about who she was and what happened to her. Even more importantly, she was learning who she could be and who she could trust.

The Fourth Chimera wasn't just a lonely victim. Not anymore… and never again.